Thursday, January 31, 2013

Ode to Winter Scorn

I know it must be getting old to hear all this whining coming from the Utah Valley region. I know those of you in other parts of the country have probably heard enough from your family, friends and FB about how mind-numbingly cold it is here, how freaking many feet of snow we've gotten, and how our freeway looks like that part of a disaster movie when everyone still thinks they have time to flee the flood/volcano/aliens/etc. (Spoiler: They don't! Shame on you for your escapist hubris, flood/volcano/aliens/etc. is going to make an example out of you and kill you before you even make it past your driveway!) I know you must be sick of this. We need to bundle up and buck up, cause this is Utah, dangit, and we have the best snow on earth! (not that I would know?)

So I'm going to keep it brief. It is mind-numbingly cold here. We have gotten freaking way too many feet of snow. The freeway is a mess. I'm tired of scraping ice chips off my windshield with a 3-in. dollar store scraper. My butt and my pride are still smarting from that untimely slip in front of two cars driving by.



In my darker moments, I have started referring to the snow, in my head, as "white poo".





That's how mad I am about this.






January please die.






P.S. JJ would like to add that the snow is too bright and hurts his eyes. I'm not sure I agree with this, but I'll do anything to crucify winter right now, so YEAH! What he said!

4 comments:

  1. Mish, quit your job and blog full-time. It might even pay more! Man, I don't miss my ice scraper. Think I left that baby in Denver, where it belongs.

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  2. I think I will now start calling the snow "white poo". That is amazing!

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  3. I agree with JJ, it was always hard to walk around in the snow and then only see green for like half an hour once you come inside...maybe it's a paleface/gringo problem?

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  4. Really? That's crazy. I'll bet you're right - JJ also blamed it on his sensitive blue eyes. You silly gringos.

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